Rose’s Ramblings 1: Get your wriggle on

The trouble with not being able to walk in a straight line for more than ten paces is that it seriously impacts on all aspects of ones behavior. Straight lines are for rulers. Planning properly is for proper planners. Short sentences will be sentenced shortly. Deviation is the norm. You see the problem? Unable to also think straight for more than ten paces has led to, what has seemed to some, many an odd decision.

I pondered this whilst completing my training for the upcoming sojourn with Wandering Man in Nepal. I live but a hop, skip and several hundred bag checks away from Kathmandu where I had once again been cajoled into meeting the Wman of somebody else’s dreams. This time he promised the joys of watching him Cheyne Stoke at elevations over 10 metres. The trailhead is some 3990 metres higher…

 

It was intense this pondering. Interrupted as it was every few paces with deliberations about the prevailing wind, what did it prevail over and how? Is it not just humanistic defeatism? One must face the PV (pondering shorthand) with understanding, compassion and peace before seeking shelter.

 

Anyway, all this musing came from the banks of the River Wharf. In Yorkshire. England. Not the straightest route to Nepal at all I’ll grant you but it was a lovely walk. It was in the wriggly order of things. It was the natural place to be. See you in Kathmandu Wandering Man, probably.

 

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One day whilst sweeping leaves and slapping red ants (who seemed to know much more about the lungi than I did) straight lined coming at me, straight lined going away. The goers touched the comers, the comers came and bit me, red itchy blotches, time for a quick impression of Stan Laurel as my broom, which had being an instrument of sweeping, transformed itself into an organic non chemical, non toxic ant dissuader. I now wriggled like a baby with an itch but began to feel more in control as the red ant army retreated under the might of the combined wriggle and aforementioned ant dissuader, with which I once had a negligent dissuade harming a beautiful butterfly in the process. The ants came in order, left in chaos and in the middle was a wriggle. I felt at One. And checked again at 2.30.

 

My battle won I realized I had stumbled upon a realization. I put it back. Training courses in the art of ant dissuasion and fitness courses to compliment it featuring my patented ‘Natural Order Wriggle’ are now available. Now combine the 2 for lovely low price and never worry about being covered in South East Asian red ants ever again.

 

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