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As the clock ticks remorselessly towards the start date of the Rwandawander, Wandering Man and Rose have upped their preparations. Rose has decided that the best way to ready himself for the forthcoming exertions is to learn how to fight people. Quite how the good people of Rwanda will respond to this idea remains to be seen. Rose, however, is convinced that beating the merry hell out of others is an excellent strategy to harmonise international relations and endear himself to the local populace.

Wanderingman, on the other hand, decided to turn 60 and commission Mrs Wanderingman to produce a scale model of the Rwandawander. Between them, they determined that the best way to do so was to simulate his wandering exploits from the Yorkshire Dales, through Africa to the Himalaya in the form of a cake. This had the double advantage of both imprinting the route onto his brain and in his stomach, double the value. It seems that in simulating the Rwandawander we will be relying not so much on muscle memory as gastric recall.

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In another strategy, and to continue a theme from a previous posting, both of us have decided to prepare for our wander by looking at lots of water. Although neither of us live close to a huge Lake the size of the one in Rwanda, both of us are fortunate to live close to the sea. Rose is continuing to punch people on the beach whilst Wanderingman is ambling along the local estuary.

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As noted in our gustatory model above, Rwanda is full of different kinds of wildlife. Although we have been unable to replicate this fully, there have been opportunities to experience other forms of beasts. On the vague possibility that we might find Arthur Conan Doyle’s Lost World, we decided that one of us at least should get the low down on how to handle Jurassic wildlife. Luckily, there was just such an instruction day put on locally so Wanderingman visited it to get the drift. Apparently, provided you feed dinosaurs sausages all will be well.

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In one final move, designed to more closely model likely scenarios, some kind people nearby to home provided a very accurate simulation of an encounter with a Zebra.

Frankly, with all this attention to detail, it is hard to see what could go wrong. Unless we have forgotten something.

Oh wait…..like arranging places to stay….getting a map….

Best get onto that then.